'Hi, Id like to order dog treats for my Staffie' (or How Not to Speak to a Customer)

Monday, 4 February 2013  |  Kate

I had a lovely man named Michael call up from Washington state in the US this morning to place a Christmas dog treat order for his Staffie in Cheshire (he's on his way over for Christmas).

The conversation went something like 'Hi, I'd like to order a Christmas stocking for my dog' to which I replied 'come on Erik, I'm busy, stop messing about, call me after New Year.'

Now in my defence I have a mate called Erik who is Canadian and great at doing voices. Erik calls up from time to time pretending he has an itchy dog, then laughs his backside off when I fall for it.

Once he posed as a man asking if it was alright to sedate his wife with Dorwest Scullcap and Valerian tablets so he could get some peace while Match of the Day was on. I wasn't about to fall for that again.

After a minute or so of back and forth Michael says 'nope, my name's Michael, what will it take for you to believe I'm not this guy Erik?'

'Give me your number in the States'

My Itchy Dog Blog'OK it's 425 … etc'

I ring back on Skype to find it is indeed a lovely man called Micheal ordering Christmas dog treats all the way from Washington State.


He called my sales technique 'intriguing' then spent £30 and wished me luck with the business.

Had to call Erik, who spent two minutes giggling in a Beavis & Butthead style.


So, Michael from Bellevue, thank you for your order of Christmas stockings, Pet Munchies fish treats and Wild Boar sausages. I salute your patience and trusting nature. Merry Christmas.